For the most part, these entries have captured the weekend
trips, longer excursions, and non-work activities I engage in while on
assignment down here. But, since I burned all my vacation days on trips when
visitors came to see me, I find myself without new fun exciting adventures to
talk about. For the time being at least.
However, as I’m about to be 75% of the way through my
assignment and starting to think more about what’s going to be next for me, I
thought it would be good to document some of the down and dirty about living in
Johannesburg. There are some things I love, some things I find amusing, some
things I could do without, and some things I down right hate.
Let’s start with some good stuff first, shall we?
What I love.
I love, love, love, my balcony. I cannot tell you how many
spectacular sunsets, morning coffee musings, pleasant nightcaps, and awe-inspiring
thunderstorms I have enjoyed from this spot. It’s largely why I picked this
apartment. The city center is just west of my balcony, so the sun sets right
over the city, allowing beautiful reflections and highlights to dance off the
skyscrapers. I must have 100 sunset pictures on my phone from the balcony. The
other nice thing is I am 11 floors up, so I can leave the balcony door open
without worrying about anything but the occasional fly that sneaks in.
All from my balcony...
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| Sunset 1 |
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| Sunset 2 |
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| Sunset 3 |
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| Sunset 4 |
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| This one is just nuts! Still can't believe I got lightning and a rainbow in the same shot.. |
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| The storms here are something else. |
Another thing I love about Johannesburg is the thriving local music scene. In many other countries I have lived in, you do get some good local artists mixed in with the global garbage pop (which unfortunately is largely American) that seems to be prevalent everywhere, but South Africa has more diversity in types of local music. Which I suppose, given that SA is more diverse than many other African countries anyway, makes sense. There’s a lot of infusion of different styles of music, spanning rock, hip hop, jazz and funk, and truly South Africa deep house music has very complex rhythms and melodies. I’ve enjoyed sampling different types of local music through festivals, radio, and outdoor markets. There’s one more festival I’m hoping to go to in May, and looking at the lineup, I have never heard of a single artist performing. But that’s half the fun.
One more activity I quite enjoy in Joburg is all of the
different weekend markets. There are a lot of them, and all of them are a
little different. Some are inside, some are outside, some of them are mainly
geared towards food, others are more geared towards arts and crafts. I even went
to a night market that was Halloween themed! But they’re all good fun.
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| Outdoor farmer's market |
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| Indoor farmer's market |
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| Craft beer kiosk |
Finally, the natural beauty in South Africa is just
breathtaking. Both the landscape and the wildlife here are just incredible, and
surprisingly varied. There are certain plants, for example, that are only found
on the Cape Peninsula, and literally nowhere else in the world. I have greatly
enjoyed traveling to different areas of South Africa and enjoying the scenery.
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| Hiking trail in Suikerbosrand Nature Reserve (south of Joburg) |
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| Cape Peninsula |
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| Cape Peninsula |
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| Bourke's Luck Potholes in Blyde River |
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| Beautiful cliffs in Waterval Boven |
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| Kruger |
I could do without this nonsense.
Given South Africa’s history, I definitely understand why
this is a norm, but my goodness South African’s love to go on strike. I am
signed up for international alerts on South Africa, and I swear I get at least
one a week about some sector or group going on strike. Strikes tends to cause
road closures and depending on who is striking, there are other mild
irritations that arise. For example, when the sanitation workers went on
strike, neighborhoods were covered in trash for the next few weeks. Or when the
Gautrain workers (what we would call the metro) went on strike and the trains
closed, the increase in road traffic was a nightmare for weeks. The union
factory workers at our facility even went on strike one day last month as well,
but they were picketing somewhere else with the rest of the union, not at our
manufacturing plant. So fortunately, or maybe unfortunately? I didn’t get to
experience a strike firsthand. Now, I understand that strikes are an important
tool in society, and can push for equality and improvements, and ultimately can
lead to sweeping positive changes, but can we please solve SOME of these
smaller issues another way, South Africa? I’m talking to you, people in charge.
Stop making the people strike.
Another annoyance I have, is the number of people who want
to talk to me about Trump. Now, again, I like asking people about local
politics too, so it’s only fair that what goes around comes around. But one of
the nice things about being abroad to begin with is not being bombarded by
Trumpiness all day every day thanks to the 24-hour news cycle in America. So, it’s
not my favorite topic of conversation. For example, I had an intern start a
conversation with me by saying, “Trump is the best President America has had
because he solved the North Korea problem.” *insert big sigh here* Where do you
go from there? In general, though, people in South Africa consider Trump a big buffoon
and mostly find American politics these days rather funny. A lot of people here
also watch the Daily Show, so that could be a contributor.
Something else I could do without – the hazard of driving in
this city. There are so many trucks on the road that look like they have never
been serviced in their entire existence, carrying precariously balanced loads.
Drivers here are also quite aggressive with tailgating and will run riiiiight
up behind to try and force you to move out of the way. It’s a bit dangerous.
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| This looks precarious.. |
One final thing I could do with is the mall culture here,
which is off the charts. Everything, from grocery stores to trampoline parks,
are inside the mall. Every five feet, or sorry, meters, there is a mall. And
that’s what people do most weekends – they go to the mall. I’ve been told that
a big driver of the mall culture here is safety – because it’s much easier to
secure a building than a city block. But, I’ve never been a big mall person,
except maybe when I was 13 and there was literally nothing else to do, but even
then, the novelty wore off quick. So, a city that’s entire existence revolves
around the malls has not been the best fit for me.
What I hate.
Anyone who has been to visit me will know what’s going to
appear number 1 on this list. Those. DAMN. Birds. that live outside my
apartment. They are the more ANNOYING creature to ever walk this earth. I would
literally take a room full of mosquitoes over a room full of these bozos. They
are the loudest birds I have ever come across, and the noises they make are
ungodly. It sounds like they are choking on a kazoo. Little sister helped give
a name to their evil while she was here, and apparently, they are called the
hadeda ibis.
But I hate these birds. Hate them. They live on the roof right
above my apartment as well as in the fields to the back of the building, and
they wake me up constantly. Maybe I
should organize a strike that will only cease once all these birds are
exterminated…
Imagine this 100x louder..
Click here: https://twitter.com/thekiffness/status/1069636948803940353?lang=en
So traumatized by these effers...
There is also one spot I hate more than anywhere else in
Joburg, and unfortunately, I have to drive through it five days a week. But
it’s the Gosforth Toll Plaza, which I pass through on my way to work. South
Africa recently implemented an electronic toll collection system, to mixed
reviews, but in general the roads seems well maintained to me, so I think the
system overall is working. There is a mix of ways to pay the toll, just like in
the US (cash, card, or EZpass type device) HOWEVER, it is literally impossible
to tell which lane you need to get into until its wayyyy too late, because the
color scheme on the signage is horrendous. Which means, everyone gets in the
wrong lane, and doesn’t realize it until they’re at the front, and inevitably
they have to back up to get in another lane, causing a huge pile up, and
delays. Imagine ten cars trying to all back up as more cars are coming up behind them, to let one car at the front try to back up and get in another, already crowded lane.
Whoever decided to paint white letters on an orange background and grey
letters on a navy background should be drawn and quartered. Imagine trying to
make out those letters with the sun blinding you at the same time. Its asinine.
Aggghhh, this is so irritating.
Let’s end with some funny things. Because I really find
these funny.
In terms of what I find amusing, there are a lot of silly
South Africanism that never fail to make me smile. For one, they call traffic
lights ‘robots’ which is just so much more fun than traffic light. Or stop
light. Or any other name you would hear in America.
Another expression I love is ‘now now’ which in fact does
not mean now at all. It’s like the two nows cancel each other out. So, if
someone says they’ll see you now now, it essentially means see you later.
Bonnet and boot are also pretty amusing. No, those are not
articles of clothing. Bonnet is the car hood, and boot is the trunk. You say
trunk in South Africa and they think you’re talking about an elephant.
Also, if someone is sick, it means they have flu. It doesn’t
matter what sickness it actually is – it could be a cold, an infection, or
anything else – but it’s still called flu. I once brought up that flu was short
for influenza, but my coworkers just laughed at me.
One more South Africanism that I see and hear everywhere is
T’s and C’s apply. Which stands for terms and conditions. This phrase is
everywhere, on promotions, radio ads, posters, menus... literally everywhere.
We do this in America too, but the South African phrase is just much better. To
be honest I don’t know why I find it so funny, but I do.
A few more funny phrases, then I swear I’ll move on. But two
great ones are izzit and howzit. Izzit, or really “is it” but my spelling is
more accurate, is used the same way we would say “oh really?” or “did you?” As
in; Me: I’m going to kill all the hadedas in South Africa; Coworker: Izzit?! As
for the other one, howzit is more of a greeting; a shortened version of, how is
it? The response always be goodn’you?
I also find it pretty amusing that there is an American
Indian themed restaurant chain here. I don’t know how or why, but here it is...
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| Spur is everywhere! |
One final thing I find funny is the go-away-bird. Yes, it’s
literally called the go-away-bird. Because it the call it makes really sounds
like its saying, “go away.” I first heard this bird in Kruger, but occasionally
I will hear one out my window, or in the trees around the office. And I giggle
every time. I was never quick enough with my phone to capture the go-away-bird
call, but I found one on the internet if you want to hear it. Click here:
Looking forward to seeing everyone on my brief trip home in
a few weeks!
